| ok so there are way to many of you to hunt down again so please add me
as a friend. i am closing this guy down and starting up my new. it
YpGuyBrit the sight is called Brit in Ireland i believe. so find me
peeps. much love to you all.
|
| |
| Well not really guns but i just like the title. so i am home. and its
great to be home...me and my puppies played for ours out side. they
were so excited to see me...and i them. me and my dad had a good
talk...i made him some patatoe pancakes and man do they rock my face
off. well me and my brother went and talked about life...he is going to
be graduating this next may...and well he is going into biological
engineering...im pretty shocked but really excited for him. the down
side is this.....if i move to ireland i will miss his graduation...and
Cody isnt very happy about me leaving him...we havnt had a the best of
relationships but we are trying and he doesnt really want me to go. i
am an emotional wreck right now with family. school and friends. but
more importantly with my gracious Father in heaven. we had a good
little chat on the drive home today. i am so full of my self. i have
fought for years this image of not amounting to crap in my life and
this constant oppression...and now i have turned this leaf of
confidence....i am very confident in who i am...but there is the
problem....it is not I that have any thing to be confident about. i am
nothing...He is everything. he is my all. he has taken so much away
from me to make me better...how i owe him everything... how often have
i missed the mark...how often have i been living this life of lies. and
for what. to impress...stupid people i really dont care how they view
me. where has my accountablity to been? my dear peers are gone....and i
have fallen down hard on my own....i felt as though no one was around
to help me back up. why the hell am i so damn blind to His Grace and
love. i wanted answers and my next 25 years of life/ministry/family
mapped out....im 22 for His sake. im thankful for just being able to
repent and fall on my face and be picked up...i still dont have answers
but...im slowly becoming more comfortable with not having any
answers...just doing the best that i can...
I sometimes hide behind my words
Sometimes I’m round the corner from these songs
But words are only words
Like days are only days
And I’m nothing for just singing along
The air is hot in Florida
The rain is cold in Maine
The thaw is flooding Washington
And this all feels the same
But You’ve brought me to this place where there’s nothing else but faith
And this is what I have been given and I will make the best I can
There’s a joy we find in living and a love that’s in Your hand
Cason’s always talking about the sky that covers Kansas
And I wish I could be under it today
I’m tired of all the spinning lies
Tired of all this killing time
Tired of always getting in the way
I wish I could conjure up a love song
Wish I could pray the way my friends do back home
Is there a part of You that I still don’t believe
‘Cause this is not what I thought I had been praying for
But this is what I have been given and I will make the best I can
There’s a joy we find in living and a love that’s in Your hand
Someday some girl will find my words beautiful
Someday some son will call me dad
Someday I won’t wake to find myself lying in another cold and lonely hotel bed
Someday I’ll trade in this guitar for a city of golden praise
Someday I won’t be here any longer
Someday but this is what I have been given
And I will make the best I can
There’s a joy we find in living
And a love that’s in Your hand |
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| My heart is so heavy right now. i was out with some friends
tonight....and i couldnt enjoy it. my heart is so heavy right now with
so much. i am speaking to my college this sunday night....and my time
frame makes me very nervous. i dont want to cut anything out or
mis-represent what i have to say....my heart is breaking right now for
my dear friend Adam. he leaves tomorrow for Bahgdad. he is in the
special services. and i cant stop thinking about him maybe not coming
back. he shared with me his heart to come back and teach kids about
music. this my friend who has been in several punk bands....wants to
invest in kids lives. that warms my heart.
i am heavy with what
is going to happen in the next two months. i am interested in a girl.
intrgued by two....and i dont know what to do about it. persue when i
might be moving over seas for a year or longer.....where is the smarts
in that??? i dont know. oh the weight of life can be so dang heavy |
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